i-moh-shuh-nl

Let me start this post by saying that I am tired and can’t guarantee that I will be able to express my thoughts very well, but I needed to vent.

The past month has been quite the emotional roller coaster when it comes to a certain 3 year old.  We have had some moments that I don’t even know how to describe.  Now, let me say I realize that these melt downs are normal and a part of the growing process, but seriously, this past month or so has been rougher than it should be to me.  Actually, it all started about 1 week after Christmas.  We just started to potty train around Thanksgiving and weren’t doing too bad.  I was impressed, especially through the holidays, at how few #1 accidents he had, but E wasn’t all that in to it.  We decided to quit diapers cold turkey during awake times (meaning we still use a pull up during nap and bedtime).  E wasn’t too resistant, but he definitely wasn’t in to what we wanted him to do.  He does well at holding it, so we had only a handful of #1 accidents until about 2 weeks ago and #2 just hasn’t worked out so well period.  He has only successfully made it to the potty a handful of times to do that business and only once was it because he told us he needed to go.  Okay, so on top of all that he started really fighting his naps and hasn’t taken more than like 2 or so naps a week.  At first I thought it was just the end of naps, but today I’m starting to think that’s not the case.  He still desperately needs the sleep.  I’m not saying that because I need the quiet time, although that is nice, but because he hasn’t been functioning right.  In the past week he has started “going” in his pants and hardly ever in the potty and if we mention sitting on the potty he freaks out!  My mindset has been to stay firm and insist he sit on the potty, but it started to feel like punishment for both of us.  I even tried punishment, but I’m learning real quick what works for my son and what doesn’t.  Our last attempt at punishment was  if he messed his pants we would take a toy away.  We made sure to take his favorites, but while he was sad, he didn’t have any motivation to do what was necessary to get them back.  He could tell you what he had to do, but had no desire to do it.  In fact, today right after he #1 and #2’d in his pants he very matter of factually told me “Mommy, you take muffin (one of his favorite dogs) and buzz away cause I pee pee and poo pooed in my pants”  The hardest part is that it isn’t a in your face attitude that he has, just more factual and kind of “It’s outta my hands, this really stinks” kind of attitude.  So, my head is spinning and I’m feeling frustrated, angry, sad, like I’m failing to see something.  I decide to go to the library and check out a few books and look over them to get a new game plan.  It was so refreshing.  It occurred to me that it was okay to say he wasn’t ready. He will one day use the potty, just not today.  I realized I had very high expectations for him.  I realized that I needed to prepare him more before expecting him to just do as I say.  So I am taking two steps back and taking the pressure off of him.  I’m trying a new plan of action come tomorrow.  After I spent some time reading about different issues and methods, etc. I started to think about how the weird melt downs, poor sleeping and potty training all seemed linked.  It makes me a little sad to think that I have forced something on him, not realizing how much it was going to effect him.   I’m beginning to think some of his weird behavior has to do with the pressure of going potty and all the struggles and battles we have had.  At night he has been real clingy to me the past 2 weeks and I’m starting to think he desires that one on one with me when there is no pressure to perform……….I really feel like he wants to please us, he has told us when he goes and even told me before once today and we were able to make it to the potty 🙂  But, I think I have gotten way too negative towards it all.  I need to remember to encourage and be positive.  So what, he pottied in his pants, but he came and told me.  That’s a start.  I should be more like “That’s right, you’re peeing.  Pee pee goes in the potty.”  or something……….Anyway, I know I must sound a little silly, but this has been so heavy on my mind that I wanted to try and get it out.  Sorry for the not so fun or happy post.  Maybe someone out there will find this encouraging to know they aren’t the only one!  So, if anyone out there has any potty pointers, I’m taking suggestions.  Here’s what I’m thinking right now: I’ve heard people talk about it and have read it in two different books, so I purchased a doll that comes with a potty and will “peepee”.  We will start training the doll and talking about it.  I also found a really good book at the library to read to E.  At this point my brain is fried and I can’t think straight, so I think I’ll head to bed.  I’ll leave you with a pic of my sweetie baby boy.  Thanks for “listening”.

 

29

My sweet sweet husband celebrates his birthday today, Friday, Jan 16.  I’m not the best at all this writing stuff, good at the rambling part, but not the making it flow and such.  So, anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to wish him a very happy birthday.  He is such a blessing in so many ways.  He is my best friend.  He is an awesome father.  He is smart.  He is talented.  He is compassionate.  He is loving. He is so very patient with me.  He is strong leader for our family.  The list goes on and on.  I thank God for him always!  Happy 29th Birthday, Baby!!!!!!  I love you!

The Wonder Place

We made a trip over to LR to check out The Wonder Place with some friends.  We have heard about it for a while, but somehow never made it over there.  The kids really enjoyed every minute of it.  We got there about 10:30, left about 12 to get lunch at McDonald’s, came back about 1 and against my kids wishes we left about 2:45 or so.  I figured I was really pushing my luck staying all day with no naps.  It’s not a cheap visit, so I wouldn’t recommend going if you don’t have time to spend there, but one nice thing is you can come and go all day if you want or need to and you can bring your lunch (but not fast food, more like a brown bag thing) they have a little area with a vending machine, table and chairs.  We will definitely make more trips over there, we will just have to spread them out a little bit.  I hear they have a free adult day like once a month, anybody know about that??  So, thanks Casey, Jonas and Reese for the invite.  We enjoyed hanging out!  Let’s do it again soon.

The dentist

Eli  first dentist appt was scheduled on the day it iced.  Knowing that it was coming up we really talked it up.  I checked out a couple of books from the library about going to the dentist and Eli was really pumped about it.  Well, it iced, so we rescheduled for the next day.  We had to take Nathan to the airport right before our appt and on the way there got caught in a traffic jam.  Eli was sooo not happy about missing his appt.  We rescheduled again and he finally had his first dentist appt this past Monday.  He did great.  He was so excited.  There was a bucket of toys in the waiting room that we were playing with and I explained to Eli that when they called his name we would have to clean them up and go see the doctor.  He didn’t quite get it and insisted on cleaning up right then.  I guess he was afraid to miss his turn.  When they called him back he got to pick out a movie and watch it on the ceiling.  And as if that wasn’t cool enough, the movie he picked was Toy Story II, so he got to watch Buzz.  Lucy tried out the table next to Eli to watch the movie, but was ready to be upright and see what was going on with E after a few minutes.  Eli did great.  He laid down and opened up for them to look around.  When it was all done he knew they would have a treat for him and he wasn’t shy about asking for it.  He scored a sticker and dinosaur and of course a cool new toothbrush.  I hope and pray he continues to have pleasant dentist visits.  If you are looking for a good dentist you should check out Dr. Dan Heard, Central Arkansas Family Dentistry.  Looking over the pictures I am sad I didn’t get one of him upright 😦  O well.

indoor picnic

When Nathan is traveling I am always trying to think of activities to keep us occupied to help the days not seem so long.  Last week was no different 🙂 I spread out our outdoor blanket (cause it’s easier to clean) and we had an indoor picnic.  The kids loved it!  Eli wanted to keep the blanket out all the time.  It’s amazing how eating cheese, crackers and grapes on the floor is soooo much more fun than at the table.

sibling love

We were at my mom’s on New Years Day and were blessed to have a camera handy to catch this moment.  So sweet.  Although it is debatable as to whether this is a gesture of love and affection or a head lock 🙂  I choose to go with love and affection.

 

 

potty talk

I thought it was time for a potty update.  Not the most entertaining, but one of those things I want documented.  Eli has done well with #1.  Apparently he is good at holding it and so while he doesn’t tell us very often that he needs to go, he has had almost no accidents with #1.  #2 is a whole other story.  He would not go in the potty.  We weren’t sure how to go about helping him get there.  As you might have read several post back, we offered a poo poo party, complete with cake and a couple of guest and that was great and all, but not what did the trick. Really, he didn’t go #2 to get the party, I caught him in the act and rushed to the potty where he kind of finished, but how do you explain that to a 3 year old.  So, we went on with the party and hoped it would encourage him to continue.  No such luck.  A few days ago I had had enough.  It was becoming clear that he wasn’t really having accidents, he knew what he was doing.  So, I dropped Lucy off with Nana and we set off to let him pick out his own potty to poo poo in and I explain that if he choose to go in his pants he would get a spank.  We made a big deal, I let him pick the potty with no influence from me.  Luckily he picked a cheap one.  It’s a cute frog.  Funny story: On the way to look at potty chairs for him I was really talking it up.  He was asking what kind of pottys the store would have and I said I didn’t know and that we would find out.  He then said “Will they have orange ones with a telephone on the back? ……….They will………I want an orange one with a telephone on the back, okay?”  I told him we would look and see what we could find.  What in the world!?!   Anyway, so we get one and then we head to Mardel to find a star chart and star stickers for our reward system.  He gets a star each time he successfully goes #2 in the potty and after 5 stars he gets a special prize.  Yesterday he actually went on his new potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He was so excited and a little confused, he thought he would get the prize right then.  I explain that he has to do this 4 more times to get 5 stars and then he will get his prize.  He was so motivated to get his prize that he decided he would go again so he could get another star.  I figured it was good practice and didn’t stop him from trying.  Would you believe he actually went AGAIN.  Very little, but enough to count for another star 🙂  So by now you are wondering why you have read this far to hear about my sons potty training and this is all probably tmi, but again, this is kind of my scrapbook of our life, so thanks for hanging in there through these types of post.  By the end of the day Eli had earned 3 of the 5 stars he needs to get his prize.  It was a very encouraging day in the potty training chapter of our lives.  Below is a picture of him after he earned his first star.

Christmas Summary

Where do I even begin!!?  We had a week jam packed with family time, good food and presents.  It is a little overwhelming, so I think I will summarize and then post pictures.  I will keep the pics in order from where we started our week and where we ended it. Here goes….

We went to what my brother’s and I have called the “country” christmas on Christmas Eve.  It is out 107 a bit, so we always felt like we were way out in the country when we went.  Now that I’m older I have come to realize that it really isn’t that far at all, but the name has stuck.  The “country” is my dad’s side of the family and there are 50+ people gathered at one house for potluck dinner, dessert and a visit from Santa Claus.  I found out this year that this tradition started about 90years ago! It’s fun, we see family that we otherwise don’t get to see during the year.  Christmas morning we woke up in our house and had a small little family time by the tree and opened a few presents.  Then we headed to Nana and Big Daddy’s house for yummy breakfast and presents.  From there we headed to SE Arkansas to Great Gran’s house. The James family has a long standing tradition of eating ribs Christmas Eve, then caroling and on Christmas day they cook a huge breakfast and we eat all morning and take turns opening gifts and hanging out.  Since we have conflicting family get togethers the James family has been great about adjusting and doing “Christmas Eve” and “Christmas Day” on different days.  All that being said, we got there Christmas day, but we treated it like Christmas Eve for traditions sake.  We got there around lunch, ate a yummy rib dinner with many other delicious sides then headed out to carol friends around town.  In the 4 years I have been caroling with them, this was the most productive year.  I don’t remember a count, but we made it to several houses in like 2 hours.  My kids were exhausted, but they loved every minute of it.  So, “Christmas Day”, or the day after Christmas, we took it easy, ate too much and opened presents.  Sat, Nathan, the kids and I packed up and headed towards KC, MO.  We stopped in NWA to rest at a hotel and then finished the trip (about an 8 hour trip total, but we made it in to 2 3-4 hour drives).  Nathan’s mom, aka Gramma, is in KC.  She just moved to a new house and we helped her break it in!!!  We had 11 people in a 3 bdroom, 1 bath house!  Luckily she has a large basement and many extra mattresses 🙂  As always, we had a very enjoyable trip.  We ate good food, had good family time, played some games and opened a few presents.  Notice any trends in our week:)  After 2 1/2 days there we packed up and headed home on New Year’s Eve.  With all the traveling and excitement from the past week, we were exhausted.  The kids went down at 7 and I feel asleep on the couch by 10:45 or so.  It would have been earlier, but Lucy was congested and I had to make a quick trip to the store for an aspirator for her nose.  Not quite the New Year’s plans that you make, but we take what we are given.  Hopefully all of you had a great holiday season and a happy new year.  I think I’m done……for now 🙂